The Lair Legion Barbeque, Part Seven - Tales of the Parodyverse

    “Pull!” shouted Trickshot, his bow at the ready.

    Yuki hurled the meat and vegetables in her hand into the air. Trickshot patiently waited for the right moment before releasing the shaft. The spike pierced the steak and veggies cleanly before a Yuki-propelled CrazySugarFreakBoy! snatched the prize from the sky.

    “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make shish kabob,” crowed Trickshot triumphantly. Dream bounded over to the grill to drop off the kabob with Hatman.

    “Not bad,” admitted Mr. Epitome as he strolled up. “For an amateur.”

    “Excuse me?” snorted Trickshot in disbelief. “You saying you can do better?”

    “Miss Shiro, if you please,” requested Dominic as he picked up one of the modified kabob sticks Trickshot was firing. He adjusted his stance as if he was playing darts.

    “How high do you want them?” she checked as she loaded her hand.

    “If you would increase the height an additional, say, 30 feet. I need to warm up,” he said smugly.

    “Alright, here goes,” she complied, releasing the steak salvo. Dominic casually licked his finger to test the wind direction. With his advanced senses he could already tell that the wind was moving in a south eastern direction at a speed of 3.4 miles per hour, but he was looking forward to wiping Trickshot’s smug look from his face. He lined up his shot, waited until the meal was at its apex, and threw his shaft. He hit the mark, and CSFB! retrieved the kabob.

    “Show him what you’ve got Tricky!” he encouraged as he went to take the kabob to Hatman.

    “How high can you throw that stuff Yuki?” checked Trickshot, already knocking a kabob shaft.

Yuki’s computer-enhanced mind did the necessary calculations. “I don’t think it’s a matter of how high I can throw it, it’s more like how high can I throw it with everything staying close enough together that you actually have a chance at hitting it.”

    “Just throw it, high as you can. I’m sure Mr. Supervision here can keep track of it for the rest of you,” said Trickshot smugly as he lined up his shot.

    Yuki sighed. “Don’t you just love the smell of testosterone in the morning? Alright Tricky, here ya go.” Yuki heaved the contents into the air.

    Trickshot waited patiently while everyone aside from Dominic squinted to see where the steak and vegetables had gone. Everyone gave up shortly and settled for glancing back and forth between the sky and Trickshot.

    Suddenly Trickshot was a blur of motion, dropping the kabob stick to the table and switching to grappling arrows. The shafts flew straight and true, fired in rapid succession, until five lines were rapidly unspooling. Trickshot waited until each arrow had hit its target, then gave a tug with his free hand, bringing the items closer together. He then knocked the kabob stick and fired at Visionary’s lighthouse. The shaft bounced off the wall and caromed at the steak and vegetables, neatly knocking away the other arrows while piercing each morsel.

    Yuki prepared to throw CSFB! to get the kabob, but Trickshot stopped her. “No need.” He reached out with his free hand and caught the kabob. His feet hadn’t moved.

    Everyone watching burst out into wild applause. Even Mr. Epitome was impressed. CSFB! high fived Trickshot enthusiastically. “That’s how it’s done son!” exalted Dream. “Someone get this man a brew!”

    Dominic stretched his hand out, palm up, to Yuki. “No offense, Miss Shiro, but I believe that I can throw these a little further than you can.”

    “You’re actually going to try and top that?” asked Dream incredulously.

    “You’re actually going to try and top that?” Yuki chimed in simultaneously.

    “You wish you could top that,” smirked Trickshot.

    Dominic threw the kabob items into the air and then picked up the skewer. He waited, tracking the items long after everyone else had lost sight of them, though he suspected Yuki might be able to detect them. After a few more moments he let the shaft fly.

    It never came down.

    “Ha! I’ll bet you didn’t even hit it!” crowed CSFB!

    “I assure you, I hit it.”

    In Gothametropolis York a window washer was very surprised by the shish kabob that landed in his wash bucket. He was more surprised when a red and blue blur swooped by, retrieved the kabob, and left behind a steaming plate on the scaffold.

    “See?” said Dominic as he returned with the soggy kabob.

    “I don’t think you guys are ever going to settle this,” Yuki shook her head. “Was there even a point?”

    “When do they ever need an excuse to act macho?” asked Kat Allen as she came by to retrieve Dominic. There was a hammock that desperately needed his undivided attention. It was a matter of life and snuggles.

    As the small group began to break up, Yuki stopped in her tracks. “Hey, wait a minute,” she looked accusingly at CrazySugarFreakBoy!, “You can fly.”

    “That I can. I just figured you wanted an excuse to grab my ass.”

    Yuki let a kabob skewer fly.

Post By Hatman Sun Jul 23, 2006 at 10:49:05 pm EDT	Subject The Lair Legion Barbeque, Part Seven

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